The Harry Potter Parody I made in 7th Grade
by T.F. Author
Summary: Again, pretty self explanitory. . . and kind of stupid. . .Rated M for Language I'll make a new one soon enough . . . . not a new chapter, mind but a new parody.


Harry Potter and the Terrible Author  
Chapter 1  
Harry Potter is not my creation this is fan fiction Harry Potter belongs to JK ROWLING  
and Warner Bros Enjoy!

Harry: RON STOP YOUR POO POO!  
Ron: Harry I can't help it!

*OUTSIDE BATHROOM*  
Hermione :Are you two alright?

*BATHROOM*  
Ron:WE---'ll Be r--ighhht OUT!  
Harry:GOD RON WHAT DID YOU EAT!?!?!?!?!?  
Ron:same assss-----you!  
Narrarator:Apparently Ron ate some bad food and got diarreah.  
Audience:EWWW!!  
Harry: Who was that?  
Ron: HARR---Y DOoo-ooo Youu knnnow aaa spellllllll for thissss??  
Harry: I'll ask Hermione, HERMIONE! DO YOU KNOW A SPELL FOR DIARREAH?  
Hermione(distantly): Try some U-No-Poo!  
*DDA class*  
Snape:Hello, Class  
Class:Hello proffesor Snape.  
Ron :( whispering to Harry and Hermione):Hello, Professor Butthole.  
Hermione :( whispering) RON!  
Harry*laughing in sleeve*  
Snape: DETENTION WEASLEY!  
Ron: YOUR LUCKY PROFESSOR MCGONAGALL LET YOU BACK IN AFTER YOU KILLED DUMBLEDORE!  
Snape:50 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!  
*after class*  
Harry:Hey Ginny!  
Ginny:*runs over and kisses cheek* How are you?  
Harry*smiling* great.  
Ron*GRRRRR*  
Hermione:*whispering* Ron quit it. at least they don't act like you and Lavender.  
Ron:*Blushes* I am such a cool person.  
Hermione: Ron would you like to hang out at lunch together, tomorrow maybe?  
Ron:Sure!  
Lavender:*whispering behind column, eavesdropping* I'll make you mine, in time, again Won Won

Harry Potter and the Terrible Author  
3:20 AM  
Ron: HARRY GUESS WHAT!  
Harry: What Ron?*agitated*  
Ron: Hi  
Harry: Grrr . . . .  
4:50 AM  
Ron: HARRY!  
Harry WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU!  
Ron: I'm in love . . . .  
Harry: I DON'T CARE, HELL I DON'T EVEN CARE IF SHE GIVES YOU CRABS GOOD NIGHT YOU BLOODY RETARD!  
6:10  
Alarm clock: RING!!!!!  
Harry: son of a . . . . . .  
Ron: Did you sleep good Harry?  
Harry: . . . *smothers Ron with pillow*DIE!!!!!!!  
Ron: Why must you do this Harry?!?!?!?! WHY HAVE YOU TURNED ON ME????????  
Author: And he wonders why,  
Potions class  
Professor Dum As: Hello children today we are learning love potions  
Ron and the girls in class: OMG YAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!!!  
Boys in class: WTF?????????  
Dum As: begin now!  
Students: Grrr . . . . . . . . .  
Author: YAY I CAN GET that one Person TO LIKE ME!!!!!!!!!!!  
Person: ???????  
Author: You heard nothing  
Person: . . . . . For the Last F***ing time i dont like you!  
After class  
Girls: WE LOVE YOU HARRY!!!!!!  
Hermione: AND YOU TOO RON  
Lavender: Yes we all love you Won Won but I love you the most. . . . . . .*Eye Twitches*  
Ron: I feel so loved *smiles*  
Harry: GET OFF ME *shoves girl off him*  
Girl: HARRY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAAY!!!!!!!!  
Ron: Hermione are you ready for our date??  
Hermione: Of course I am!!!  
Ron: *kisses Hermione's cheek*  
Everyone except Ron and Hermione: EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW  
WWWWWWWWWWWW  
Ron and Hermione: KISS MY BIG BLACK $$  
Harry: ???  
Author: Dun Dun Dun!  
Professor Snape: I LIKE BEEF JERKY  
Everyone: WTF??  
Lunch  
Ron: *stuffing face* MMmmmm sooooo good  
Hermione: Ron you made me so hot right now!  
Harry: ???  
Ginny: Harry can you meet me by the library in 2 minutes?  
Harry: ya  
Ron: Ginny *loud chewing* Gunna say sumdin like she louvers yon ow  
Harry: sure, ok uhh see you guys later . . . . .  
Library by the supply closet  
Harry: You wanted to see me  
Ginny: Yes *moaning from closet*  
Harry: Uhh . . . .  
Ginny *kisses lips* I like you Harry *starts Making out*  
Harry: Mmmm . . . . *makes out more*  
Ginny opens closet door a scream emits  
Snape: *Girly Michael Jackson Scream*  
Mystery person: Ahhhh!!! *teleports away*  
Too be continued . . . .  
Person: What was that you said earlier?  
Author: uhh . . . . nothing . . . .  
Person: You screamed it out loud  
Author: no I didn't *puts up to be continues sign again and runs away*  
Person: Freak . . . . .  
HARRY POTTER AND THE TERRIBLE AUTHOR By DUCKIE SANDERS  
* legal mumbo Jumbo belongs to JK ROWLING BLAH BLAH BLAH*  
*Library outside the closet *  
Harry: OMFG SNAPE?????  
Ginny: You got a lot of explaining to do young man *pulls ear *  
Snape: I'm an Adult I can make out with what ever Groundskeeper named Hagrid I like.  
Harry: Now you tell me his instant who you were smooching with!  
Snape: No!  
Author; He just said it . . . . . retards  
*Dormitory 10:37 PM *  
Ron: Good Night Harry  
Harry: Goodnight Ron  
Neville: Good Night Hermione hiding under Ron's bed so you can get laid  
Hermione*under bed *: Goodnight Everyone  
Door: *slams open *  
Everyone: What the hell??  
Professor Mcgonagal (?): Hello boys . . .. And . . .. Hermione  
Boys . . .And . . Hermione: Hello Professor Mcgonagal  
Professor Mcgonagal: We are to leave early tomorrow for our field trip to SELF-ESTEEM LOWERINGLAND!  
Everyone: *Halfheartedly * Yay.  
3:21 AM  
Mcgonagal: WAKE UP EVERYONE  
Harry: RON!!!!!!!!!!  
Ron:*sleeping *  
Harry: Oh, never mind *eyebrows raised *  
On the Bus  
Harry: I love you so much! *Kissing Picture of Ginny *  
Ron: Harry, why are you making out to a picture of my little sister??  
Harry: I umm love glass . . . a lot . . .  
Ron: Oh, ok cause if you kissed my sister, I'd have to do something I'd regret . . .  
Harry: *gulp * nope, I didn't go near her, nope not me *sweating *  
Ron: good  
Ginny: *a run by kisses Harry on lips runs back to seat *  
Ron: Now I'll have to do something I'll regret *Makes out with Harry *  
Harry; WTF?????  
Ron: You kiss my sister you kiss all the Weasly's  
Harry: O GOD!  
God: Sorry can't help you there  
Harry: some Almighty you are  
God: *zaps w/ lightning * some human you are *blows raspberry that causes 7 earthquakes and 1 tornado *  
Harry: Sorry god  
God: it's koolio  
SELF ESTEEM LOWERING LAND  
Hermione: *crying * I suck so bad  
Harry: I'm some special boy who lived *EMO cutting thing *  
Ron: I HAVE NO BRAIN HELP O GOD!  
Brain sucker: I'm full now  
Ginny: NO ONE LOVES ME!!!!!!! *Put gun to head *  
Author: OMG WTF they're acting like Emo people  
Person: No they're acting like you, we want you to be normal  
Author: I can't be normal I'm a freak remember?  
Person: I was just kidding  
Author: really??  
Person: ya and another thing cheer up *hold hand *  
Author: *wakes up from daydream * Aww Man =(  
Jake: WTF is wrong with you???  
Author: Huh??  
Jake: you just zoned out and started doing a kissing face  
Author: No reason *puts to be continued sign and runs away *  
Everyone: Freak *thinking * She's got to quit doing that  
Author: KISS MY FAT $$ *thinking* Also i can read minds  
Harry Potter and the Terrible Author Chapter 4  
The Library the next day  
Harry: I wish some thing interesting would happen  
Girls in Bathing suits: WOOO!!!!!!!!!!  
Harry: so bored  
Avril Lavigne: Anyone want1 million dollars???  
Harry: *bored * I'm gonna see what Ron and Hermione are up to  
Dormitory  
Ron: *makingoutkissyhour* I love u so much  
Hermione: you make me so hot * more makingoutkissyhour *  
Harry: *walking in * Hey guys . . .. WTF!?!?!?!?!  
Hermione and Ron: Harry!!!  
Ron: we didn't know you where coming . . .  
Hermione : We would have stopped  
Harry *edging away * ok, um I just came to say hi. . . . so um . . . hi *runs away *  
Ron: umm . . . HI!  
Choir : *omen music * Pooorrr Harrrry Pottttteeeeeerrrrrrr!  
Author :*singing bad * POOR HARRY POTTY!!!!!! LOL whoops POTTER!  
Jake: ok . . . .  
Santana: U suck  
Author: BITE MY ASS!  
Elizabeth: YEA!!!!  
Author: When did this become a friend meeting??? MY STORY GO AWAY ALL OF YOU *whispering Except That Person *  
Person: Why me???  
Self esteem lowering Land  
Bunch of 12 year olds: *sobbing * O GOD HELP ME!  
Ginny:*slurping ridiculously themed slurpee * Mmmm Emo-tastic!  
Author: Emo-tastic is that even a word???  
Ginny: Let's just say it is  
Author: You're the character  
Harry: *running over * Hey Ginny!  
Voldemort: HA I will kidnap your girlfriend  
Ginny: Son of a B*tch  
Voldemort: *running away carrying Ginny * HAHAHAHA! *Maniacal Laughter *  
Ginny: *still drinking slurpee * O well  
Harry: NOOO!!!!  
Author: to be continued . . . . . .  
Elizabeth: *slap * U got what u deserved  
Author: =( oww  
George Bush: The War in Iraq is totally justified cuz were different from dem  
Author: sure it did . . . . and Aliens live in my basement BITE MY ASS MUTHA F*CKA!  
To be continued . . .  
Part 5 or chapter 5  
The Dormitory  
Harry: Crap, Voldemort is always taking or killing people I like WTF!  
George Bush: I don't know maybe you should declare war.  
Harry: How would I do that???  
George Bush: Have someone blow the base of a tower and send 4 planes to them. And blow them up. Then say that the Iraqis, uhh . . . . I mean Voldemort did it.  
Harry: Go to hell. Ron what do you think?  
Ron: I don't know but find my sister or I'll call Fred and George over and we'll do something we'll regret . . . .  
Harry: PLZ NOT THAT AGAIN!!!!!!  
Ron: me, Yali, Mike, the Author, Bunny, Jake, and Hermione will even help you  
Yali: Yeah boi!  
Mike: yep  
Author: I got nuthin else 2 do  
Bunny: whatever  
Jake: ehhh . . . . . . ok I guess  
Hermione: We will be the fellowship of the badly written characters  
Author: Hellz ya  
Hogsmeade  
Hermione: Okay Voldemort's layer is in America  
Author: how do we get there?  
Mike: dunno  
Yali: ummm drive?  
Harry: We'll fly everyone grab a broom stick  
Author: woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!! *Already 1000 ft in the air *  
Everybody else: Holy shit!!  
Broom: *breaks * screw you!  
Author: Aww man  
Person: *catches *  
Author: Koolio!  
America, Voldemort's lair the dungeon  
Author: some heroic mission  
Yali: ya  
Mike: . . . . . . . yep  
Harry: What now  
Bunny: I don't know  
Harry: we're screwed  
Jake: crap I knew I shouldn't have come  
Author: sorry everybody  
Hermione: not your fault  
Ron: Ya *singing *don't worry, be happy  
Voldemort: So you are now all in my clutches *brings in TV *  
Harry: what's going to happen 2 us?  
Voldemort: you are going to watch 123 straight hours of . .. . .  
Author: WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????  
Everyone: *panicking * TELL US YOU OL FAGGOT!!!!!!!  
Voldemort: GEORGE BUSH MAKING OUT WITH BILL RICHARDSON WHILE HAVING A 7SOME WITH NSYNC!!!!!!!!!  
To be continued . . . . . .  
Harry Potter and the Terrible Author  
Dungeon 3:24 AM  
Everyone except the author: *sleeping *  
Author: *Swinging from chains * WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!  
Ron: *waking up * I'm so sleepy . . . . .  
Author: no sh*t Sherlock Voldemort drugged us  
Everyone: *waking up * uhh . . . .  
Author: morning star shine  
Yali: Wtf?????  
Author: We were drugged  
Yali: BMA!  
Everyone: *gasp * All the cookies are gone!  
Pearish and Kyle: WE CAME TO SAVE THE DAY!!  
Author: kool, got any food????  
Hermione: *cough * Fat ass *cough *  
Author: *sobbing * Just cuz I'm a lil over weight  
Hermione: Sure *rolls eyes * sure *cough * 1 hundred (incoherent) *cough *  
Author: What, got a cold skinny? (lol I wouldn't actually say this lol)  
Pearish: *punches Hermione * CAN WE GO NOW?????  
Ron: HEY THAT'S MY GF!!!!!!!!  
Yali: Who cares???  
Everyone: ya! *JAIL BREAK *!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
Outside the dungeon running on the grass  
Ginny: WOO HOO!!!!  
Voldemort: not so fast, raises light saber, come on Harry Trotter *bad attempt at name calling *  
Harry: bring it B*tch  
Kyle: ya!  
Jake: I'm leaving c'mon Kyle  
Kyle: Aww man. . . .  
Harry and Voldemort: *fighting *  
Voldemort: I am your brotha from anotha motha *bad attempt at sounding gangster *  
Author: *pushes up glasses, nasal spray * bad star wars quote  
Everyone: NERD!!!  
Mike: yep  
Author: I don't really care no more  
Yali: ya boi! (Lol I so needed to do that!)  
Author: just because of that this is the final chapter! (not the ya boi part, but the nerd part)  
Ron: Aww man  
Hog warts *the usual five minute sum up *  
Mcgonagal: Ok now that Harry f*cking Potter saved the day again, it's time to eat our arses off and Hermione and Ron do kissykissymakeouthour.  
Ron and Hermione: Hellz ya!  
Harry: WTF I kill Voldemort, again, and I don't even have a Gf cuz she broke up with me for kissing her brother!!!! WTF  
Pearish: hello Harry . . . . can you pass the butter  
Harry: *in love * ok  
Author: she's 11  
Harry: *spitting soda out his nose * sorry  
Jose: hey Pearish  
Author: lol (don't kill me ok?? I'm just the writer) Alas everyone has a boyfriend or girl frend in real life, except me  
Louis: hippie *with GF (idk her name, I think it's Giovanna?? Jamie?? Fred???lol jk) *  
Author: communist  
Mike: yep *on runescape *  
Yali: (just for the hell of it) Ya boi (lol)  
Lavender: Hey Won Won  
Ron: WTF I HAVE 2 GF'S?????  
Hermione: *dumps Ron *  
Author: so alone  
Elizabeth and EJ (Ooooooo FERGIE GOT A BF!): Kissymakeouthour  
JK ROWLING (for those who don't know, the creator and writer of harry potter): I'm suing you!  
Author: not my day *runs off with to be continued sign puts up The End sign *  
The Courtroom  
Judge: how does the defendant plead??  
Author: Not guilty, Mr. Judge lady man sir . . . I mean mam!  
Judge: Has the jury decided  
Forman: we have your honor  
Author: *head between legs sobbing *  
JK ROWLING: *smirking *  
Forman: we find the defendant . . . .  
Outside Courtroom  
Reporter: , how do you feel about the verdict??  
JK ROWLING: I find it fair and reasonable  
THE END

I lurved it!  
i hated it (Well fine then be like that!)  
Hoped you liked it ^-^


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